Wednesday, May 5th, 2021

Day 5 - The Kids Will Be Alright

Jen and I had made the decision. 

Our kids were not going to school on Wednesday, May 5th. The primary reason being, is so that they can come up to the hospital to visit mommy, daddy, and baby Declan. 

We haven’t seen them in over a week (in person) and they didn’t know the status of their baby brother. There were many resources here at Children’s Hospital to aid us in discussing this sensitive topic to our kids, so we had collected what resources we had, and steeled ourselves for this conversation. 

This was going to need to wait – before the kids arrived, we went through our oncology training class to learn more about cancer procedures with ports, infections, treatment protocols, and very important phone numbers. Declan is about to go through procedures that are going to wipe out his entire immune system. The people closest to him will need to ensure his safety by hand washing, wear masks, and staying away if they are ill. 

The unfortunate part is our bubble is going to reach father than just that of our household. The kids go to school, they interact with teachers, classmates, and other neighborhood friends. We go to the grocery store, pass strangers in isles, have random encounters with other individuals waiting in line to grab a cup of coffee. If there is any more of a reason to respect people’s personal space, and when in light of the current pandemic, to still see some of those around you flat out and flagrantly put their thumb up at public health guidelines because somehow it feels political… hits a bit harder with this. 

Image by Carola68 from Pixabay

Our son is going to be protected in the best way possible that we can protect him, but it sometimes is the indirect actions of others that can have dire consequences to families you don’t even know you are affecting. Declan was due for his 6 month vaccinations prior to this whole debacle, now he will not be able to get vaccinated due to his cancer. 

Once he is able, we plan on fully getting him up to date on all of his immunizations, but for now until then, he will be at risk. 

Even for something small like a cold, or any other type of infection can spell disaster for our little one. So please, if there is no other reason to respect other people’s person space, if there is no other reason to respect that people ask you to wash your hands, if there is no other reason to wear a mask, think of the lives of those individuals you may never meet. 

If either Jen or myself become ill we will need to isolate from our 6 month old son. We will not be able to be there and care for him. So if you are a friend, a family member, or a complete stranger thinking about what you can do to help… 

…wear a mask

…wash your hands

…get vaccinated 

– that’s at least something you can do that will indirectly not only help us and our family, but a multitude of others, and we thank you for that in advance. 

Image by Daniel Twal from Pixabay

This class is eye opening, the level of care needed to give to Declan will be tenfold the normal level of care. Close eyes on body temperature, monitoring every symptom, every sneeze, every square inch of his skin. 

But now it was time for a larger meeting, bringing our other two sons up to speed. 

What were we going to say? What questions would they have? How many tears would be involved in this exchange? The day was already cold and dreary – it set the tone for the grueling conversation we were about to have with our 7 and 6 year old. How could they digest this information and then not see us or their brother for a couple more weeks on end? Just the thought of having this conversation with them was bringing us to the brink of tears. 

Grandma and Auntie brought up the boys and immediately their faces lit up when they were able to see their mom and dad in person. They went running straight to momma to get the hugs they all so desperately needed… while dad was left hanging, we found a nice cozy spot to park it and have a heart to heart. 

The boys were… distractible… to say the least. 

“Can we go play now?” was the biggest question they had on their minds. 

Image by Joshua Choate from Pixabay

They were visiting a brand new place, there was lots of open space to run around! They had just spent a good 40 minutes in a car just traveling up here… they wanted to run! Eventually they settled enough for us to sit down and have this conversation about Declan, his illness, and what they could expect to see in the coming weeks ahead… 

“OK”… they said as they ran off into the distance, yet again, to frolic. 

Welp… 

We certainly weren’t expecting that. An appropriate response for kids their age, and while Jen and I are worried about how they might feel (jealous, left out, alone, isolated) with all the attention Declan will be receiving, we let them know how much we love and care for them, and gave them our biggest goodbye hugs before we sheltered back inside. 

Prior to us chatting, a cold rain had sprayed across the medical campus, wetting everything in sight and bringing a cold, chilling air. During our conversation with the kids, the sun was out and shining bright. Before we retreated back to our hospital room, the rain came again – a poetic symbol of the sunshine that is the light of our lives, and the cold rain that is to come. 

Image by Henryk Niestrój from Pixabay